(...) I’m So-and-So, one of the community managers from X site. I
just wanted to get in touch to say hey and congrats on
being one of our top reviewers in city X!
We would love to send you a little so-and-so gift to thanks
for your awesome posting. If you could reply with your
full name and postal address that would be fantastic. (...)
My reply:
Hi So-and-So
Thanks a million for the detail.
Unfortunately, I don't give my personal details online, especially
to people I don't know and are managing network online sites. I am
very conscious about data collection online and no "gift" is going to
change that, especially when X site could easily give a voucher
for the fortunate to collect the goodies in person or just a gift
voucher. I always love those.
Having said that. I appreciate the good will.
(...)
The question is, how many of the fortunate people who have received this email have said no?
THE FOLLOW UP
After
my email the same manager wrote to me saying that she totally
understand :O and offering me to go to their office to collect the gift
in person, and that the gift is some vouchers from some business they work with. So I am not hurrying to collect anything. A block of French pate would make me happy :D.
GIFTS THAT ARE NOT GIFTS BUT A WAY OF MANIPULATING
If you want to give me a gift. Great. Send me an email voucher that does not require of me giving my personal details to an stranger and, even worse, to a website partly financed by local businesses, which would be thrilled to get a positive review or just a review. Because you carry the voucher, they would treat you like a queen/king, very differently from the rest of mortals, so that you leave feeling that they have the best customer service ever.
This sort of free gift policy is very similar to the polices implemented in Yelp. Although Yelp is way more generous and many of the freebies do not come with a suggestion to make a review afterwards (but they would end with one), many of the exclusive invitations to restaurants and the Elite Events are given with an explicit request to write a review, and you letting yourself being photographed no matter you don't want because it is in the Terms & Conditions and by being there "for free" you are selling your image to them for a plate of food.
Nobody forces you to review those places, of course. nobody tells you, I give you this free ticket in exchange for a review, the request is implicit, though, in many of the gifts received. However, most people being invited to an Elite event are explicitly requested to write a review about the business. High ratings are the result. There is no problem with that when the business and the product deserve it, as this benefits both parts. I can count the many times I really enjoyed the event and I was more than happy to give high ratings to a business. The problem arises when you do not like the business/product/service, or you think it is just mediocre, but you feel psychologically obliged to be grateful by rating higher than you would if you were paying for the same. This psychological bias affects us all, even if you aren't aware of, and marketers know how to exploit it.
In the last two free activities I attended in Yelp most people I talked to thought that the food was OK and the business giving the tickets not really good. In the first one several people told me just that, explicitly, but added: "I feel bad after all the special treatment and food we have received, giving them a low rating and saying what I really think". However, most people wrote four and five-star reviews full of babble. Almost nobody said that the food was amazing or deserving of five stars, just that the evening was great and thanks to the business for organising it. I myself did so with a 4-star review (when I thought 3 would had been fair), and I felt that I was betraying myself. I did not like the feeling. The second time, I was on an outing organised by a new foodie business that gave free tickets to yelpers; as soon as the event started yelpers were explicitly required to write a review. None of the people who attended did so because, talking among ourselves, we thought that the rating would be low and that would be a bit ungrateful. However, this request was enough for me not to write anything and quit Yelp and erase my whole account. There were other important reasons why I quit the site, but the "gift for a review" weighed in my final decision. My quitting did not happen without the resistance of Yelp itself, something that convinced even more that I was doing the right thing. In fact, Yelp does not have a cancel-your-account button you can press when you want, and you have to request it by email, and the USA and local Yelp managers contact you on this trying to convince you not to quit, as the site is really good for you (BS) and question you about why. Why do I need to give an explanation at all? Isn't my wish reason enough? Am I not a free person? Am I not an adult? Their closing-account policy is similar to that of the data-sucker flock-manipulator Facebook, and I don't like it a bit.
A gift is a gift, give it freely, not as a subtle way of manipulating people to get what you want.
Nobody forces you to review those places, of course. nobody tells you, I give you this free ticket in exchange for a review, the request is implicit, though, in many of the gifts received. However, most people being invited to an Elite event are explicitly requested to write a review about the business. High ratings are the result. There is no problem with that when the business and the product deserve it, as this benefits both parts. I can count the many times I really enjoyed the event and I was more than happy to give high ratings to a business. The problem arises when you do not like the business/product/service, or you think it is just mediocre, but you feel psychologically obliged to be grateful by rating higher than you would if you were paying for the same. This psychological bias affects us all, even if you aren't aware of, and marketers know how to exploit it.
In the last two free activities I attended in Yelp most people I talked to thought that the food was OK and the business giving the tickets not really good. In the first one several people told me just that, explicitly, but added: "I feel bad after all the special treatment and food we have received, giving them a low rating and saying what I really think". However, most people wrote four and five-star reviews full of babble. Almost nobody said that the food was amazing or deserving of five stars, just that the evening was great and thanks to the business for organising it. I myself did so with a 4-star review (when I thought 3 would had been fair), and I felt that I was betraying myself. I did not like the feeling. The second time, I was on an outing organised by a new foodie business that gave free tickets to yelpers; as soon as the event started yelpers were explicitly required to write a review. None of the people who attended did so because, talking among ourselves, we thought that the rating would be low and that would be a bit ungrateful. However, this request was enough for me not to write anything and quit Yelp and erase my whole account. There were other important reasons why I quit the site, but the "gift for a review" weighed in my final decision. My quitting did not happen without the resistance of Yelp itself, something that convinced even more that I was doing the right thing. In fact, Yelp does not have a cancel-your-account button you can press when you want, and you have to request it by email, and the USA and local Yelp managers contact you on this trying to convince you not to quit, as the site is really good for you (BS) and question you about why. Why do I need to give an explanation at all? Isn't my wish reason enough? Am I not a free person? Am I not an adult? Their closing-account policy is similar to that of the data-sucker flock-manipulator Facebook, and I don't like it a bit.
A gift is a gift, give it freely, not as a subtle way of manipulating people to get what you want.
I don't want to be in that position ever again. Well, ever again is perhaps a too-bold assertion. If I was on the dole or had a low salary, I would be happy to grab restaurant invitations. If I was offered a voucher to visit the best restaurant in town, I would grab it closed eyes, too, but this rarely happens as top restaurants do not need of those tactics to get high ratings. Until then, I am independent in my reviews without the pressure of going against my gut to be grateful. I feel that doing the contrary is betraying myself and I don't like how that tastes after the meal.
NB: A friend told me just today that somebody (i.e. yelpers) could be upset because of my words. Really? I find it puzzling. I am not responsible for other people's feelings, especially when this is a personal blog and what I say is my personal view of how I see things, and how things affect me. I hate preaching or being preached, in the same way I hate being bllxited and manipulated. This is just my opinion. There are things that annoy me and I don't like. That might not be the case of other people, who really don't mind anything and are happy with the system. Well, I respect that. I really liked my Yelp "friends" and at a personal level I have nothing but praise for them. Yet, if somebody feels upset because of what I've written here, well, don't read me back :).
NB: A friend told me just today that somebody (i.e. yelpers) could be upset because of my words. Really? I find it puzzling. I am not responsible for other people's feelings, especially when this is a personal blog and what I say is my personal view of how I see things, and how things affect me. I hate preaching or being preached, in the same way I hate being bllxited and manipulated. This is just my opinion. There are things that annoy me and I don't like. That might not be the case of other people, who really don't mind anything and are happy with the system. Well, I respect that. I really liked my Yelp "friends" and at a personal level I have nothing but praise for them. Yet, if somebody feels upset because of what I've written here, well, don't read me back :).
