WTF Food Moment 7: Gluten Free Proskewto

(I am at the Deli section at my Coles, being served).

(A young tattooed hypster couple, late 20s or early 30s, arrive and stand next to me). 

>We are having "pros-kew-toh" (she says),  

(LOL, but it is sweet.)

< Pro-xu-tto (he corrects her)

--> The attendant approaches them.

> What are you having guys?

< Is the Salami gluten free?

--> The attendant looks at the labels.

> The label of the salami says it is!

< What about the prosciutto?

(Now, I am getting "queasy")

--> The attendant looks at the label of at piece of deboned plastic-sealed prosciutto.

(Noooo, He too!!!!! It can't be happening!) 

> It doesn't say anything, so I guess is not gluten free.

(WTF! I am smiling in disbelief.)

> OK, then we won't have the prosciutto, 

(WTF!)

(Would you ask, is smoked salmon gluten free? No, right? Well the same with prosciutto. Real Prosciutto or Jamón Serrano are not meat-made products. They are a piece of cured pork leg, cured by using salt and very cold temperatures. So no wheat derivative is added. The fact that pieces of prosciutto are deboned and plastic sealed in Australia contributes to the confusion. The "things" you see around the meat are actually pieces of dry salt, dry fat, and the dry skin of the animal. That is real prosciutto.)

(On the other hand, it made me think, is the prosciutto sold at Coles, real prosciutto? WTF, now I am getting into the WFT proskewto mood). 

WHERE? My suburban Coles. 

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WTF Foodie Moment 6: Tough guys

--> I am having my lunch break.

-->  A bunch of tough-looking long-bearded guys arrive. They look tough. They look like a new wave of breaded bikies with a sprinkle of poshness.
 
--> They order.
 
--> They go outside.
 
(I am sure they are going to order something tough, something macho or at least manly, a long macch, a black coffee without sugar, something acid and caustic, meaty.)

--> Their order arrives... A green coloured organic juice.
 
WTF!

(WHERE? Babooshka Cafe, Northbridge)

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WTF Foodie Moment 5: Morcilla Breaky

--> I am seating on a sunny Sunday, at one of my fav cafes. I have ordered the Morcilla Breaky.

--> A couple arrives and seats next table. Their table is separated five centimetres (literally) from mine.

--> My meal arrives. It looks Yum! I start eating. It tastes yummy.

--> He looks at me (meaning my morcilla breaky) mesmerized. Staring.

> (He tells her) it looks great, isn't it?

< (She tells him) Yes, you should order it.

--> (I keep munching)

--> (He keeps looking at me and/or my morcilla, or both. He does so several times).

--> (The friend they were waiting finally arrives and joins the party, and the waitress approaches their table)

> What are you having, guys?

< What is she having? ("she" is me! at barely 5 cms.)

--> (The whole table plus the confused waitress look at me. The waitress is lost for a moment as my breakfast is almost finished).

>> (I reply) The morcilla breaky....

--> (They ignore me. No Thank yous. They are too, how to put it... rude? obnoxious? What about the constant staring? What about talking about me and my morcilla as if we were mere projections on a screen and I was not there? What about learning to communicate using their vocal cords instead of their eyes and asking me directly from the very beginning?) 

--> What is wrong with you, WTF people?!

(WHERE? Cantina 663, Mt Lawley)

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